i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
