I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
