what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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