How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
