Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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