I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
