woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
