U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
