Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
