I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
