Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
