The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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