My nipple is on Facebook.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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