His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
