Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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