I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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