I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
