i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
