i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
