I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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