She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
