well I can't set my house on fire every night
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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