You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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