so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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