cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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