I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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