Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sorry my hands just texted you
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
