all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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