Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I had to cum in my sink.
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