pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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