just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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