This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize