You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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