just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
