ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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