He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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