Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
