cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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