Porn is love you can see.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
