By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
