this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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