# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
