Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
do herpes really smell.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
