Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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