This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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