After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
