Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
