i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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