she was so not down for the gang bang
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
