Soap is not a condiment
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
